Randy Travis: From Boring Country Crooner To Modern Day Badass! Church Fight!!!
Remember the good ol’ days when you could count on Randy Travis to do little more than write boring ass country ballads? Well, luckily those days are behind us! Now he is living proof that one cannot simply drink too much alcohol. See, once you start to lose your mind from consuming all of that poison, you can do all sorts of things. Passing out in the middle of a road naked? No problem. Go shopping in a convenience store naked?? Hell yeah. Getting into a drunken fight in a Texas church??? Bring it on! We at Universe Number Five suspect his decline… uhhh… ascension began when he started stealing his songs from Peggy Hill.