The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Needs More Metal Representation

 

      The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame is a nice little distraction to people who believe that the only worthy forms of rock music is the drivel you’ve heard on the radio since 1955. Metal is a child of rock, yet is grossly unrepresented by the powers that have crafted this faux-edgy concept of a ‘museum’ that only caters to the ‘safe’ stuff that doesn’t rock the corporate boat. To spice things up, I’ve come up with five ‘metal’ things that belong there.

5) Joey DeMaio’s ego. Hell, Joey should be the first voice people should hear when they enter the building. Yeah, his rap can get old after awhile, but there is no denying his passion when he speaks. He is very sure of himself and his band, and I think he’d probably convince fans of the Doobie Brothers and Chicago that there are other relevant forms of loud music.

4) Scatterbrain’s album cover for “Here Comes Trouble”. Is it awful? Is it rad?? I dunno, but put it up there anyway. Some stoned Grateful Dead fan will look at it for 45 minutes and get lost in it.

3) Doro Pesch’s pants from any show in any era… - C’mon… seriously… I shouldn’t have to explain this.

2) Conrad Lant. Just put him in there as a living statue so that fans of Elvis, the BeeGees, and even Roxette (give ‘em time) can pose by him for Facebook photo ops.

1) Bobby Gustafson’s mustache from the “Years Of Decay” era. If one relic in history epitomizes the greatness of metal, it is Bobby Gustafson’s former mustache. Worn to perfection in the “Elimination” video, it spurned literally 3 or 4 pretenders who tried, but couldn’t carry that crown of greatness. Had he stayed with the band, we could only assume that the promoters would’ve handed out fake mustaches to the first 500 kids at every Overkill show. That mustache should be saluted and/or worshipped.

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