What The Fuck Is Up With Florida, LOL?
Living in Florida is a huge blessing for someone who lives to be amused. We are a different breed. Like many, I wasn’t born here, but I’ve lived here for over two decades. One doesn’t need to be a native Floridian to be a complete nutcase though. We are the Bizarre Capital Of The World. Also, the Lightning Capital of the World. And, of course, the Death Metal Capital Of The World… it’s really no wonder the Republicans want to hold their convention here this year!
Here are a couple recent bizarre newsstories from tampabay.com. Enjoy them, and if they touch your soul, move to Florida and add a little to the cauldron of crazy…
- New trend: Get a ‘sugar daddy’ to help put you through college
- Satanists plan rally in support of Gov. Scott
- Man leaves baby with liquor store clerk, comes back drunk, police say
- Man accused of punching woman later found naked. Only in Florida
- Push for threesome ends with baseball bat, man tells deputies
- Man admits he was ‘dumb’ to point laser at airplane, sheriff’s helicopter. No one is disagreeing
- Hillsborough deputies break up cockfighting game
- Man punches wife, breaks her hearing aid, deputies say
- Man stuffs shoes in pants, flees when store employee tries to stop him
- Floridians submit petition to secede from U.S., signed by a large number of out-of-state residents
- Woman took $745 worth of lingerie, perfume and jewelry, authorities say
- Man arrested after using shovel to hit firefighter who was trying to put out blaze
- Mother leaves her 3 kids in car because 3-year-old ‘is a handful,’ deputies say
- ‘Papa Smurf’ tells deputy he’s too drunk to remember trespass warning
- Man on cocaine says he was fleeing Croations, deputies say
- Police officer quits after investigation finds he texted a tip about SWAT raid
- No, this isn’t a new sport: naked golf with a car
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- Parents make Palm Coast teen stand alongside busy road with sign telling of her misdeeds
- Lap dances on hold as strip club hosts free Thanksgiving dinner
- Man shoots wife, then drops her off at hospital, authorities say
- Coast Guard seizes $22 million worth of cocaine in Caribbean Sea
- Jacksonville police officer retires early after controversial Obama comments
Police arrest 400-pound woman they say was in buff on bus bench
A 400-pound woman was arrested Wednesday afternoon after being found by police sitting in the buff on a bus bench in Fort Lauderdale, police said
The South Florida Sun-Sentinel reports that Patricia McCollum, 52, was charged with exposure of sexual organs in public and was initially being held on a $100 bond. McCollum has a long recordlist of petty offenses, according to court documents.
McCollum, currently homeless, was found nude on a bus bench at 3900 N. Ocean Blvdand claims she was just trying to change her clothes, according to the arrest report filed in the case.
“That’s why I was changing my clothes on the bus bench. I don’t have anywhere else to stay but bus benches,” McCollum said during a first appearance court hearing Thursday.
For more, click here.
You’ll find much more similar madness here:
http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/bizarre/
Just remember, Florida was at least kind enough to bestow upon us the death metal explosion. That should more than make up for the rest of this. Also, Go Bucs!
