“Debby Drowns Florida” Starring Mr. Oofus…
(Sometimes it takes a celebrity to give us a better understanding of the nature of reality, or in this case, the reality of nature. The world’s foremost expert on water, one Mr. Oofus of “Surfin’ M.O.D.” fame, seems to be the only logical person to offer credible and realistic commentary to the low-grade devastation wrought on the state of Florida by Tropical Storm Debby”)
“Walking down the street, with a sweater on.
Lime green pants.
Hush puppies he’s walking on.
Nothing escapes him.
Everything in sight.
If there’s something wrong, he’s gonna make it right.
Eyes of a hawk.
He could eat a whale.
If you’re screwing up his beach, he’ll send you to jail.
If you litter.
A fate worse than death.
He’ll scream on your face with his atomic breath.
Inspector Oofus.
Hey that’s me.
Keep my beach clean, tidey up.
Inspector Oofus on patrol.
Lower that radio to a respectable volume.
Be courteous to others.
Doesn’t need a badge.
He’s always on patrol.
Never been fooled, cause he always knows.
Where’s there kids, trouble seems to be.
How many of you girls still have your virginity?”
Brilliant!
\m/