Nickelback’s Latest EP Rejected By Record Company
You can’t let your cash cow get out of hand, or at least that is the thinking of execs at Roadrugburn Records. Reports have surfaced that Canadian rock legends (move over Rush) Nickelback have been denied permission to release their new avant-jazz fusion flavored EP “Astral Cyclonic Popcorn” because the record company is afraid it will hurt the band’s image and more importantly its marketability. Apparently, the band has been immersing itself behind the scenes the last couple years with music from bands like Cynic, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Ornette Coleman, and Behold… The Arctopus! Given the success of their last album “Here And Now”, the band thought the time was right to finally explore some musical creativity. Leave it, of course, to the record company to shoot the idea down.
According to Roadrugburn spokesman Jimmy Python “We could not allow this from the band. It is not in their best interest as musicians. Firstly, jazz isn’t even music, it’s just a collection of noises strung together. Nickelback needs to understand that the first goal of creating music is to make money, and you can only do that by sticking to the damned formula. We know what is good, and they are still learning.” When asked if he’d ever even handled a musical instrument in his life, Python responded “Are you still beating your wife?” Touche, Mr. Python, touche.