Thrash Metal Bands Report Weird New Mosh Pit Craze
Ask anyone who has been in a mosh pit lately and they’ll tell you, people don’t hit as hard as they did 20 and 30 years ago. Of course there was always an ettiquette to the art, but back in the day people used to really hit hard. Now, today’s generation of video game addicted teens barely brush up against each other. According to a few thrash bands though, a strange new style has emerged. Aardvark Monarch guitarist Will Cannon sums it up like this “I first noticed a year ago at a show in Boston that one kid would run around the open circle shouting ‘DUCK!’ as he tagged a few people who were just watching the band play. Then he’d tag someone and yell ‘GOOSE!’ and it was on… everyone chased him and knocked him into a pulp. Now, it happens at shows we play all over the world sometimes. You never know when it will break out.” Pete Klusterfukk, drummer for the band Grim Reefer said “It’s only a matter of time until someone is killed. This is out of control. But it’s kind of funny to watch.”
So, it appears that Duck Duck Goose is the new in-thing with the kids in the metal community. That would probably explain the findings we came up with at a Dubstep show in Charlotte, North Carolina. We surveyed 20 kids who went to see the dupstep group AJ7K33G>>S (pronounced ‘PICKLE’). Sadly, 90% of them think that dubstep will eventually make heavy metal irrelevant. In fact, two people wrote in answers like “Who the fuck is Tom Araya?” and “Dubstep is far more important and popular that metal ever was.” To be completely honest, we here at Universe Number Five have no friggin’ clue what dustep is. But, it sounds hilarious!
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