Even With Kid Rock's Endorsement, Romney Still Wins Michigan

       Mitt Romney proved that even with Kid Rock in your corner, you can still win the contest. The battleground was the state of Michigan and with Rick Santorum breathing down Romney’s neck leading up to Tuesday’s episode of GOP Sweepstakes 2012, Mitt got a surprise endorsement from a man considered by some ‘the worst thing to happen to music since the first Donnie and Marie album’. With the Kid Rock bump, thousands of less intelligent Michiganders were inspired to vote ‘because’n the Kid said so’. People literally cancelled their deer hunting trips and put their meth on hold for a couple hours to follow the Kid to the ballot box. This more than offset Rick Santorum’s bump from Democrats who invaded the primary to vote against Romney for the sake of prolonging the GOP Race (to the detriment of all of our sanity.)
       Many speculated Santorum would win the state that Mitt used to call home, and where the latter’s father was a popular governor, but that was not to be. Santorum had pleaded to get endorsements from other big Republicans in Michigan (the Insane Clown Posse, Eminem, Barry Sanders, Joe Dumars, and Tom Izzo), but they didn’t come in fast enough, if at all.  Michigan’s overall dissatisfaction with Santorum’s biggest supporter, Dave Mustaine, probably sealed the deal.
       Romney also won the primary in Arizona yesterday. Exit polls indicate that the Arizonans were mostly ‘taken by his fantastic hair’. We’ll have more election coverage sometime between now and never…

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