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ICP Fans: “Insane Clown Posse Were Left Off Gigantour Because Mustaine Was Afraid Juggalos Would Take Over”

February 22, 2012

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       Fans of rappers and unparalleled miscreants the Insane Clown Posse recently released a statement that the band were kept off of the 2012 Gigantour lineup because event founder and Megadeth mainman Dave Mustaine was afraid they’d take over the show. “ICP is bigger than Megadeth and The Motorheads combined, yo”, regaled band supporter Steven “Stickalo” Tosh. “None of them rock and roll boys would know what to do about us Juggalos wit da flyin’ Faygo bottles and a whole room full of nedden (The Juggalo term for female genitalia). Wicked clowns all day everyday!”. Another ICP enthusiant Fillmore “Pocket Rhino” Garland was even more damning in his statement “ICP would O-W-N dat shit. They couldn’t handle the noise generated by that much clown madness.” Unlike past performers, like metal band Rotting Christ, the members of the Insane Clown Posse are Christians, thus they have met one of the criteria for the tour, yet they seem to lack another equally important element to what makes Gigantour work: namely prowess with the electric guitar. “You don’t need no guitar to make heavy and meaningful music, wicked shit comes from the heart, not a bunch of amplifiers,” quoted Juggalo David “Nickname” Carson “Shit, killer clowns get it done without all that bullshit. We even more metal than metal.” No confirmation yet on whether ICP’s rabid fanbase is planning to appeal to Mustaine more politely. Failure to exercise politeness would likely lead to a one-on-one face-off with Lemmy Kilmister. Not sure if any of the Juggalos would be prepared for that.  More on this story after we solve the mystery of magnets…

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15 Comments
  1. damian permalink

    Fuck WHOOP WHOOP JUGGALOS DECIMATE, MUCH WICKED CLOWN LOVE TO ALL CHECKING THIS SHIT OUT!!!!!

  2. Thomas Gonzalez permalink

    Now the only problem with stuff like this is that nobody will get through to mustaine by being rude and unintelligent bring up the fact that they would have larger crowds going to their shows they’re would be more sold out shows over all if they allowed icp on the tour and there would be a slightly different crowd and may even gain megadeath and Motörhead even more fans than they already have but with the way a lot of juggalos represent us in not sure if they’d want any of us as fans I just wish someone liked self could talk to mustaine I may have more luck putting forward an intelligent argument than some juggalos.

  3. Fury Of The Ancients permalink

    how can ICP call themselves Christians when they have been arrested for statutory rape and sexual relations with 15 year old girls !!!
    Secondly this is a METAL festival ICP are far from METAL.

  4. ministry permalink

    its people like damian in the comments here is why most people dont respect or care what happends to juggalos or icp. like a half brain dead chimp with poo in its hand you know shit will just spread every where

  5. Metalhead Man permalink

    Juggalos don’t belong on a tour with any rock group. They are a disgrace to music. Let trash play with trash and let rockers keep rocking.

  6. Qwerrtus permalink

    the worst rap music come from this idiots paint like faggots

  7. Nathan permalink

    Thank God Dave has the sense to not let that filth on the tour!

  8. fighter460 permalink

    Icp is probably one of the worst bands ive ever heard. Death to all faggalos

  9. The entire tour is unlistenable. The only group worth a damn is Motorhead. Megadeth has gotten as laughable as Metallica and ICP…well, they have been awful in every aspect from day-one. I say Motorhead breaks off and tours solo. They don’t need tours like this anymore.

  10. Jeremy permalink

    How about ICP was left off because they fucking suck? They are easily the single worst rap group of all time (and that is hard to do considering all the bullshit rap music churns out)

  11. T3nno permalink

    i dont know why those faggot clowns insist on thinking there metal, ICP IS FUCKING POP RAP! go tour with solja boi

  12. good thing ICP dont do shit tours like this cuz they r HEADLINERS not fag rockers that cant get a GIG LOL

  13. mike permalink

    ya okay THERE DICK!!! most people i know FUCKING hate u ur gimmick is a blatantant rip off from kiss ur band is good comedic fodder for real musicians!! u fucks suck more dicks than every ozzfest has had go thru the lines at the gates! and lemmy alone has more fans than metallica seeing as he IS A LEGEND AND INFLUENCED U AND EVERY METAL BAND EVER SO THATS A JOKE IN ITSELF!! AND VOLBEAT SAYS IT ALL! U FUCKING SUCK ANUS AND UR BITCHES THAT LIKE U JUGGALOS! ARE HO BAGS AND UR FAN BASE LIVES IN THE TRAILER PARKS OF THE WORLD!

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